Rene

Rene (not her real name), the 12th child in a close-knit family of 15, wonders if she and her siblings had too much freedom growing up. "When we kids reached the age of 16 we were allowed to make choices about our lives. Unfortunately we really weren't mature enough at sixteen to make good, informed decisions, so many of us made bad choices, especially where drugs and alcohol were concerned. In our circle, getting high was normal--that's what we knew, and if somebody didn't smoke or drink we thought she was an alien! Nobody thought in a positive way about sobriety, or even considered not using!"

So Rene's choice to leave her St. Louis high school and move out at age 16 didn't raise any eyebrows, nor did her choice to use drugs and drink alcohol. She always had a job, though, even when she was using heavily and after her two children were born. Rene worked in the fast food industry, at factories, as a cashier, etc. "I survived because I could straighten up before I hit rock bottom. My spiritual side kept me grounded, and when things got bad I could stop using for awhile. But I'd always go back."

Eventually Rene became very depressed with the hopeless direction her life had taken. "I felt numb, as if I was supposed to be dead. And then out of nowhere an angel came to me and asked me if death was what I really wanted. My heart and head were arguing: my mind said 'yes', but my heart said 'no'. This moment was a true awakening for me that settled my spiritual side. I knew wanted to live, and I wanted more in life. I was able to survive because of that thought."

In order to make a new life for herself and her children, Rene decided to leave St. Louis and join a close friend in Minneapolis. Tanya, whom Rene refers to as her "god sister", helped her through some hard times, and her life did improve for awhile. But it was difficult--the neighborhood to which she moved was swarming with drug dealers, and the temptation to return to her old ways was always present. Rene became very creative at making up excuses to use, and soon added a new very dangerous dimension to her life. She started to sell drugs. This put herself and her children in constant danger.

Rene recognized that she was in serious trouble, and when she was evicted from her apartment and became homeless, she decided to seek help. "I never wanted to be a drug addict on the street. I had to go to treatment if I wanted my life back." Rene spent six months at Wayside House, and then lived at Wayside's Incarnation House with her children. When she was ready to leave she didn't want to return to the neighborhood, and had heard great things about New Foundations. She interviewed with Crestview staff, and moved there with her children.

"MaLoyce said to me on day one that I was the only one who could make the choice to go forward with my sobriety. I knew that at Crestview I could really work on my recovery, and that I couldn't skip one single step in this journey. I thought about life's terms: was I going to stand up and take care of my kids and myself? Or go back out there? The choice was mine. At Crestview I learned that everything you do counts, and that shortcuts don't work--you just end up cheating yourself."

Rene says that her time at Crestview was one of the happiest periods of her life. She worked hard on her recovery, on her parenting, and on improving her skills. Not even a major catastrophe deterred her from her goals. In the summer of 2001 her five-year old daughter developed encephalitis from a mosquito bite. This was traumatic for the family, and Rene spent a great deal of time with her daughter in the hospital. Although her daughter, now eight, continues to suffer from seizures, and has some difficulty speaking, she is making good progress. Ten-year old Carl is wonderful with his younger sister. "He knows not to panic when she has a seizure, and is in control." Both children are in school, and doing well; and the latest addition to the family, a baby girl, is thriving.

Rene sees goal-setting as essential to her success, and in 2002 she realized one of her goals and bought a beautiful house near New Foundations. Her present goals are to complete school at St. Kate's to become a Physical Therapy Assistant, get a job in her field in 2 years, and give back to the community. "I believe that when you've got it, you need to give it back, so I'd like to be a counselor to recovering people. I know that having someone to talk to is a big part of recovery, but I also know that you have to want it. If people want to recover, I can give them a surefire way!"

Gardening, carpentry, and home decorating are her hobbies, and she has painted gorgeous faux designs in several rooms. Gospel music is also a source of inspiration for Rene, and her spirituality is central to her life. "My base really is my spirituality--that is what keeps me sober. That and my AA brothers and sisters." She is also close to her siblings, all of whom are now sober. Rene is a hands-on mom, and committed to guiding her children and helping them to learn to make good choices. Rene has come a long way, and as a new St. Kate's student she is well on her way to realizing yet another goal. We are proud of her tremendous progress, and proud that Rene remains involved with our Crestview Community.

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