Chris

When Chris (not her real name) was five years old her mother, an IV drug user, dropped her at a babysitter's and didn't come back. From that point on, Chris was raised by her maternal grandparents.

Chris says that from the outside looking in, the life she and her two siblings lived on Chicago's west side "seemed perfect." Her grandmother, whom she called "Mom," owned a lucrative business, so they lived in a nice house and had material things. Unfortunately, Chris's grandmother had to work long, hard hours, and the children were shuffled from babysitter to babysitter. During the summer all three children were sent to live outside of Chicago with people who were both sexually and physically abusive. Chris says that because of that her whole childhood is a blur, and that fear prevented her from revealing to her grandparents what happened to her every summer.

When Chris was 13 her mother suddenly reappeared. She was extremely ill, and Chris's grandparents pretended to the world that she had cancer. In fact she was in the late stages of AIDs. Chris's grandmother was embarrassed, and tried to ignore the fact that her only daughter was dying. So the sole responsibility of looking after a terminally ill woman fell to 13 year-old Chris. She quit school in order to care for her mother: she washed her, fed her, learned to love her, and during this traumatic period of her life Chris became pregnant. She had a child at 14, and another when she was 15--only 4 months before her mother died.

If there was a positive aspect to being at home caring for her mother it was that she finally got to know her. Mother and daughter developed a loving, caring relationship, and before her mother died Chris promised that she would never use drugs or abandon her children. Two weeks after her mother's death she did both.

Believing that she wouldn't become an addict, and Chris thought that using drugs for a short time would help her forget the pain of losing her mother and losing her childhood. However, her addiction to heroin was rapid. Chris left her babies with her grandmother and went to live with a 37 year-old gang leader who had recently been released from prison. He was abusive--he beat her, locked her up for days, and demanded that she bring in a designated amount of money on a regular basis. Terrified, Chris got the money the only way she knew how: stealing. And she became an expert shoplifter.

Two weeks after giving birth to her 3 rd child Chris was arrested on a shoplifting charge. The baby went to Gramma's, and Chris spent 3 years in prison. During that time she did receive her GED. When she returned home after serving her time she was not yet 20 years old. She was determined, however, that her life would get better.

It didn't. Shortly after returning home she found her uncle dead of an overdose, and she relapsed. Chris describes the next five years as "a blur." She was in and out of methadone programs, and had a three more children--all of whom were born addicted to methadone. Chris now says, "I believe I used [drugs] all those years running from memories."

In 2000 Chris's grandmother had a stroke, and while she was in hospital nobody attended to her finances. The consequences were grave: the mortgage company claimed the house she had owned and lived in for 30 years.

With her grandmother no longer able to provide housing and support, Chris knew she had to do something different. She heard that Minnesota was a place you could come to get your life together, and moved to Minneapolis. Chris says, "At first it was traumatic. Chicago is a very segregated city--the only whites you met were police or child protection workers, that kind of thing. In Minnesota your neighbor could be white or Asian or Hispanic. That was a little scary at first, but I learned that there are good and bad people of all races."

Although Chris's struggle with drug addiction continued, she knew that methadone programs were not helping her. On methadone she still felt high and she still craved other drugs. So she and her boyfriend quit cold turkey. She managed to stay clean 10 months--the longest time since she was a teenager.

There were certainly set-backs during this period. Her oldest son, who was 16, died after open-heart surgery; and two of her children were taken by child protection because during a relapse she forgot to get them off the bus after day camp. This was a huge blow, and she worked hard with child protection to get her children back. She also participated in a video about family group conferencing that has been shown all over the U.S.

A landmark in Chris's life was September 2003. Chris had been diagnosed with a mental illness years ago when she was in prison in Illinois. She was, however, in denial and had refused to admit that she suffered from a mental illness since then. "There was the stigma of mental illness. I didn't tell anyone and I used drugs to hide." Finally, however, Chris did acknowledge her illness, and sought psychiatric help. She spent two months in a psych ward in Minneapolis. During this time she transferred temporary legal custody of some of her children to family members in order to retain her parental rights. When she was released she moved to New Foundations' Crestview Community.

Since coming to New Foundations two of Chris's children have been returned to her. Her 16 year-old son is getting good grades at school, and has a part-time job; and her 13 year-old son is going to school at the Keystone IDT Program and doing well. And Chris has worked hard on learning new skill, and has completed a course at the American Red Cross. She is now a certified HIV Educator and gives presentations on HIV Prevention at churches and treatment centers throughout the Twin Cities. Chris has also been accepted by the Volunteers of America to go teach classes in workhouses and prison facilities. Ultimately she would like to get a degree in social work.

Chris, a tall, beautiful woman, exudes confidence and pride in who she is and how far she has come. The road she has traveled has been long and arduous, but her valiant efforts have brought her to a place where she is comfortable, happy, and strong.

Chris speaks passionately about New Foundations and her experiences:

I went through life with a lot of fears due to traumatic events in my life, and I came here not trusting anyone. At New Foundations I met a group of women and staff who truly care about people, and because of the staff I believe that my past no longer determines my future. The support, the empathy that I've received here carries me in my low times. I believe that the staff was hand-picked by God.

New Foundations empowered me as a woman and as a human being. They helped me change a lot of the beliefs that I had been raised with--I learned that violence of any form is not acceptable. People now say that I am a strong woman, and now I believe it.

New Foundations is special because they take in women and children who society has given up on--prostitutes, drug dealers, thieves--and show them another way. We become employable, start our own businesses, and are responsible parents. Today I can say I no longer fear the demons of my past--drugs, abuse, incest.

I have the tools that I've been empowered with: therapy, 12 step groups, and my medication

Today I have integrity, I'm honest, and I'm a good mom.

Chris's Ode to the New Foundations' Crestview staff--

Deb, Jackie, Pam, Ty, and MaLoyce

One day I was walking down the street lost and alone
God spoke to me. He said, "My Child, is it life you seek?"
I turned and looked around. He said, "Go this way with me!"
I walked down this short street and read a sign.
It said, "Behind this door New Foundations you will find!"
I opened the door so nervous at first
You must remember I've been lost for so long, and in unimaginable pain and hurt.

As I walked down the stairs Obedience (Deb) met me there!
She said, "Love God, your children and yourself.
In these things you will find great wealth.
God does not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."

Now it's time to meet Understanding (Jackie).
As I walked in the door she said, "Hi Chris--I'm Understanding.
Remember in life you must understand--your needs come first
Learn to save, never waste--that shows much taste.
The lesson I teach is work with what God has given you
And when he knows you appreciate, then he will bless you with more!"
She grabbed my hand and said, "Walk with me--I have someone you must meet."

It was Dream (Pam). Dream said, "You are intelligent--go back to school.
You can learn. When you work hard and persevere, a degree you can earn!"
She said, "So take baby steps before you try to walk."
Then she grabbed my hand. She said, "Someone's waiting on you!"

I opened the door and cracked it a bit. There sat Peace (Ty) as content as could be.
She Said "Come in! I heard it's me you need to see."
As I yelled and cursed she said "Quiet down, honey.
I must come first because when you have Peace, no matter what storms come
You can close your eyes and I will come your way.
Remember--I am you and you are me, so your deepest pain I can see.
I will never judge but I must be firm--or how else will you ever learn?"
She wrapped her arms around me and said, "Now knock on that door!"

The voice said, "Come in! Hello, Girl! I'm Grace (MaLoyce). Pleased to meet you."
I looked around the office and I studied her face. I saw books and plants
But what caught my attention was the twinkle in her eye
When she spoke of all the families that have come by.
Some she could help and some she couldn't
But Grace said, "I will always be there even when people say I shouldn't."
She said, "So, yes. That's what I've been put here to do--
Is love you like Christ when others turn their back on you
I give expecting nothing in return, and I want you to know--grace you have earned.
Not by something you did or didn't do, but because my parents taught me to love you."
Grace said, "Be honest, trust, share who you are. It will take you far.
Work on your anger. If not you are at danger's door--
And me and my other friends want you there no more!"

I began to cry. Grace gently wiped my face and said, "It's okay.
Tears are cleansing and they help us get free." She said, "Okay Baby it's time to go.
Remember you have the girls--you are not alone no more."

So remember when you fall:
Understanding will pick you up and carry you to Peace
And after Peace calms you, Obedience will spank your hands and send you to Dream.
When you wake up and think Grace, and Yes! You can win the race!

I never know when my day starts if I'll see Grace first, or Obedience.
Sometimes it's Understanding or Dream.
And then there's Peace to comfort me
With all these ingredients I could never lose.
So, Ladies, I take my hat off to you!

Love,
Chris

And all of us at New Foundations take our hats off to you! You are an amazing woman!

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